Complaining about having too much of a good thing.
THOUGHTS ON #1: THE OPEN WORLD PROBLEM
I'm not sure if it's just me, but it seems that open world games feel too vast to ever complete, or even start these days. I have access to an obscene number of them, both through my weakness for Steam sales, and the fact that Epic, and Amazon, along with others, albeit more sporadically, are handing out free games by the lorry load. I'll take a free game, but when the hell am I going to play them all? I find myself paralysed by choice, collectibles, vast virtual spaces, and, perhaps more worryingly, I'm paralysed by the ever exhausting nature of adult existence.
I suppose then it's best to cull the herd, to pick the best of the best, the proper gems, the most interesting games out there. I've done that, or at least I think I have. So why do great games like Red Dead 2 and The Witcher 3 remain in the limbo of my inability to see something through, perhaps never to be completed? About five years ago I started up Red Dead 2 and I was immediately blown away by it. I have fond memories of trudging through the snow and blasting cowboys in the face with my cattleman revolver. So why did I stop? Despite having some of the most fun I'd had in a video game, it just sort of ended. I paused for years, and it was only a few months ago that I tried to get back into it. And actually, for a few weeks, I did. I found the time and got to work exploring the map, completing missions, and generally being a twat to anyone who crossed me as I channelled my scruffy and murderous western self. Gleefully, I shot lead into Outlaws, and I hadn't even gotten close to being boring. Neither had the world, nor the story. But I stopped again anyway. I briefly loaded up the game to capture a few screenshots, and I found Arthur Morgan abandoned by the tracks that pass through Saint Denis. From what I recall, his last action was to drown under a pier after attempting a suicidal jump from the roof of a nearby warehouse, having gunned down a conveyor belt of lawmen as a brief distraction from the main missions.
The same thing happened with The Witcher 3, and it's been so long since I tried to get back into that, all I can recall is that I left Geralt of Rivia bobbing about in a boat. I suppose that makes him Geralt of River... Cue tumbleweed*. Anyway, I asked myself again, why did I stop? I loved the gameplay, I was engaged with the setting, and I was wowed by the visuals. It sounds like I had a good thing going - excellent games, with plenty left to offer. Perhaps I'm worried that once they're finished, I'll be without another such game for a long time. Or perhaps it's a guilt that grows over time. That thing that develops with age. A feeling that perhaps I should be doing something proper. Making the most of the time I have with my family instead.
I look over to see my wife digging for fossils in Animal Crossing at this point. The feeling is abated somewhat.
When the guilt for abandoning loved ones to a virtual world is gone, it's quickly replaced by a feeling that I should perhaps be working on something more creative, or useful. Productive, perhaps. I run a print shop, so why not design something new for that? I'm editing my book, so why not get another chapter done? Or, I could write up another blog post, perhaps. Any of these would be good, but doing something useful often feels far too difficult. I suppose I'm writing this, but whether that slides nicely into the useful folder is entirely subjective. I don't know if it's my circumstances or something else, but I'm not sure at this point whether I'll ever finish one of these games again. I'm a serial unfinisher, and maybe that's okay. I have over 40 hours logged in both Red Dead 2 and The Witcher 3, perhaps that's enough? It certainly works out on an agreeable price, The Witcher equalling about 50 pence per hour, and just over a fraction of a quid for Red Dead. But the story doesn't end there. Borderlands 3, Arkham Knight, Shadow of War, S.T.A.L.K.E.R, games I like seem to languish in digital obscurity - their stories never properly fulfilled. I purchased Assassin's Creed Origins in a Steam sale a few years ago, and only got as far as downloading it. I spent money to have less storage space, and that seems ridiculous, doesn't it? Talking about it now, I've decided that I should just play it. It was only £15, so I only have to endure 15 hours of it to reach my desired value per hour level. I'd like to jump into that world with the wonder of my teenage self, who played all his open worlds to death. But I'm not sure if that's possible anymore. Perhaps I'll report back in the future and update you on the progress I've made. Will I abandon it? Well, it's a Ubisoft title, so I'll most likely have become overwhelmed by collectibles and quit to desktop in record time... We shall see.
Oh, and just as an aside, I did reinstall The Witcher just for some screenshots and that rather weak Geralt joke. I'm fully aware that that was more of a waste of time than any gameplay might have been, and it just goes to show that I have plenty of free time for something stupid, and I should just stop complaining about how lucky I am to have loads of good games. But along with having less time to game, I think the abundance of releases has spoiled me somewhat. I used to survive off occasional demos and the odd rental between rarefied purchases or the gifting of a full game. That isn't an issue these days. I have games. Too many games. But as you might have been able to tell, I'm just not quite sure how to spend time gaming these days, or perhaps not to the same extent that I used to. It's normal I suppose, but it's a bit annoying. How does one cope with aging and playing? There's this struggle to find time to fully explore virtual worlds, to wring dry the games I know I'd enjoy. It's something I always thought would never happen to me as a child, and I could never understand why adults didn't play games constantly. But I suppose, now that I am one, I should understand it slightly better - I still don't, even though it's happening to me right now. I then wondered to myself if it's okay to just play a portion of a game. It's not ideal, but in the aforementioned examples I had tremendous fun, and it isn't the quality of them that's standing in my way, it's something else. It would seem odd to only watch half a film, or to read just a few chapters of a book, or to only watch a few episodes of a TV show, assuming those were enjoyable. Games are a different beast, however. Fun can be had even with the briefest of playtimes, but I just can't quite tell if it's how things should be done or not. The idea that perhaps playing a game is somehow a waste of time is a ridiculous notion, of course. Nothing that brings you joy can be, can it? But the lack of drive to play a game to completion - it feels as though it's a problem that's only getting worse, and it's not isolated to open world games. Far from it. I have that problem with many games. And in part, starting this blog has given me an excuse to put time and effort into video games again. Perhaps that's the best strategy when your time becomes divided. I'm not even all that busy, so maybe that's just another excuse. Maybe I'll never get to the bottom of it, or maybe it's just a phase? Or maybe, like I said earlier, I've just become a serial unfinisher.
If playing games just to enjoy the playing of them feels like too much of a frivolous expenditure of free time, it seems like the best option is to make it a useful endeavour. Like I said, the blog (whatever it is), may not be considered useful exactly, but it is at least productive, if only in the sense that I'm producing something, and, at least in some small way, possibly improving my writing skills. Who knows? All that I know is that since starting to write and to think about games more, I've managed to play more, and that's a good thing in my book. Perhaps if I can just work up to writing more about open world games, I'll play them to completion. Or perhaps not -but it's certainly a possibility.
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