A henge, a cathedral, and a week of Pokémon Sleep.
ADVENTURES #3: WILTSHIRE AND HAMPSHIRE
As with these posts, I have a requirement to crowbar in some videogame related twaddle. When we went to Brussels, it was the Pixel Museum. Here, it will be a look at Pokémon sleep, and the visiting of two CEX stores. Tenuous, but a good excuse for another travel post.
Like a vast amount of people around the launch of Pokémon Go, I too left my house for absolutely no reason other than to walk to the local park and to congregate around a normally empty patch of grass at an odd time of day to capture various creatures… A few times I went with friends, and it was actually quite a fun experience. It didn’t last, at least not for us. The amount of fun we could squeeze from the simple mobile game was limited, and, as it eventually became less relevant, the apps were ultimately uninstalled, and we all moved on with our lives. Pokémon Go was the last Pokémon game I played, the last before that was Ruby on the Gameboy Advance. So, the games haven’t been much a part of my life for a long time, and since uninstalling Go, I’ve had little desire to revisit the old games, and even less to pick up one of the newer releases. So why play Pokémon Sleep? Well, firstly, playing it is a by-product of finding out what it even is, and in finding out what it is has allowed for the writing to commence – but in order to write about it, one must sleep, as apparently that’s all you need to do to partake of this particular game (for the most part, there is tapping too). To call it a game is perhaps a slight stretch, it is a sleep tracking app with some game-like elements and a Pokémon skin, but that’s ok. I don’t expect to be delving into a rich story or utilising complex mechanics when I’m sleeping – that would be utterly ridiculous.
I started by filling in some info, my location, date of birth, etcetera and after that I was met by a massive Snorlad (it’s actually a Snorlax, but I liked the typo, so it’s staying), and some cheerful music. Did this irritate me? Perhaps. Before properly finding out what’s what, a long loading session ensued, and an immediate update, which came with an immediate increase in phone temperature. After that, I finally got back into the game and here comes the bit that had me considering a prompt uninstall - The professor (who serves as the guide) goes on a very, very, very, very long ramble (tutorial) about the intricacies of every aspect of the game, and while it’s nice to know what to do, his explanation is rather long winded. I should note here that I am well aware of how long my blog posts usually are, but I’m going to stick to being a hypocrite… Anyway, all this tosh happens on the first night, and unfortunately, well, let’s just get on.
Day 1:
I made my way to Brighton mid afternoon to visit my parents as my dad and I had arranged to go out for a meal. The sun was shining and along with my mum we had a nice catch up and a few drinks in the garden (after rooting about in their loft for my PlayStation - which links to a future post), and in a cupboard for a book I had been meaning to finish for a very long time. See, I can’t escape the world of videogames, even when reading…
Around 6 we walked into town and sat outside Côte for a little bit, enjoying a pre dinner beer. A lovely meal was had thereafter. We had a few more beers, a bit of Armagnac, and a large steak. I was tired, but in a nice kind of way. We wandered home and sat in the garden again for an hour or so, eventually retiring to bed. Night one then, began unsurprisingly at night, and it was as I laid in bed that I decided to download the app. I wasn’t in my usual bed, and I had been indulging quite heavily - so how did Pokémon Sleep rate my rest? Well, like I say, I had to download the rather large update, so I was forced to stay up longer than I wanted, so the game that’s meant to foster a better sleeping pattern has utterly failed at the first instance – not what I thought would happen, but to give it some slack, I could have easily downloaded the app earlier in the day. Finally, the download finished and then after a long wait to verify the data I was greeted by Professor Neroli again (shrug). I’ve no idea if he is new or has anything to do with Pokémon lore before this, but he seems helpful enough, I suppose. He explains the bullshit premise and apparently, I’m going to synchronise my sleep with that of a Snorlax to trap other Pokémon in a sleepy state… or something. I also got given my first Pokémon helper, which was a level 4 Pikachu – no idea if that’s good. After that, I was able to set my desired bedtime, and I went for 11:30… I was off work then so could get away with it being a bit later than usual. I started the tracking and after checking the clock, I realised that I was already half an hour late… This meant that, as you can see by the data, I slept twice in one day and lost the Tuesday. Not sure it matters though. No, it doesn’t. I’ve just decided. WHO CARES…?
Day 2:
The next day, I drove home early and after getting back, Lottie and I got to work doing some last-minute packing as she had arranged for us to stay in Salisbury for a few days, and to visit the New Forest, the latter of which has sort of become a tradition of ours over the years. Neither of us had been to Salisbury before though, so we drove off with excitement, both to see new things, and to celebrate my birthday.
Rather than going straight to our destination, we popped to Lymington first for some ice cream and some general nosing about. Lottie got some Roly’s fudge too, which pleased her greatly, and I picked up a couple of games in a charity shop. I am always on the lookout for ones with world maps, and I found Port Royale for £2.99… probably crap, but I liked the map. Also, as I took it to the till, the fellow there said it was two for one, so I picked up another copy of Mafia on PC. It also comes with a map, so double luck there. Although I already owned it… (see my Mafia posts - parts 1 & 2). Once we had finished there, we got a bite to eat and then wandered back to the car, driving through the forest, stopping for a drink and some chips on the way, making the most of the sun, of which we had far too little in August.
Lottie had booked a particularly cool place on Air BnB for us, and after popping by, meeting the owners, and their particularly lovely dogs, and dumping our bags, we went out briefly to the nearest Tesco for our supplies. Upon returning we settled into life in our little cabin for the next few days. We made ourselves a mezze and built a nice fire in the garden, staying up late watching the glowing embers slowly fade to ash, enjoying melted marshmallows on sticks as a little bonus. This meant a slightly late night, obviously, and as we were on holiday, a slightly later awakening. Big sleep points here ladies and gentlemen.
Day 3:
The next day we were up early, and bumping into our host again we discovered that the manor house (the big bit we didn’t stay in) is sometimes used for photoshoots and there was one going on in the upper floor window even as we spoke. Made me feel like getting back into the fashion photography a bit, the building and the garden would have been perfect for shooting in. Just as an aside, if you haven’t seen any of my photography work, you can do so here). After our chat, and some more dog patting, we decided it was going to be our Salisbury day. Our first port of call was the Cathedral, and unfortunately, we didn’t book ahead for the climb, so we were forced to enjoy it from the ground. Very enjoyable it was too. The 13-meter embroidery of the Magna Carta Wikipedia page, as well as one of the actual copies of the Magna Carta were a couple of particular highlights. After departing the Cathedral, we went exploring the old streets, and had a lovely time both purchasing and eating food (as you do).
As this is a videogame blog, I also made a point to visit CEX. Lottie obliged, but only because she’s a nice person. Anyway, a particularly good CEX it was. I still (slightly) dislike their overall vibe, but it was painted white on the outside, so that’s different, and it was lacking in the usual foul odour, and it was actually quite pleasant inside. They also had almost half a shelf of PS1 games too (and three Dreamcast games), although it was CEX so all were either shite or unaffordable. After feeling as though we had explored enough, we retreated back to the cabin and relaxed a while. I did some writing, Lottie read, and we enjoyed some tea, coffee, and biscuits. After that, we went for a lovely dinner at a pub a few miles away, almost crashing into a deer on the way home.
Getting home is where the real trouble began though… I thought I’d set another fire and enjoy the warm evening, but nature decided to introduce us to a hornet, of which its size category was the FUCK OFF kind. That ruined all outdoor activities there and then and meant that we had to shelter inside. The bastard wouldn’t give up though, and after bashing itself repeatedly on the window like a zombie, we went to bed with a permanent case of heebie-jeebies. Lottie woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me that she had a weird hornet related dream (thanks love) and then I fell asleep again and dreamt about the bastard thing too, so I don’t know what Pokémon Sleep thought of my rest that night, but I can tell you now – paranoia and a distaste for flying devils had me enduring a less than relaxing night. Also, we’re both wimps when it comes to wasps, and especially hornets, but the fucker was pretty huge, so I think we were justifiably terrified.
Day 4:
The hornet was gone by the morning (we actually did see it just before we left but felt slightly braver in daylight). Anyway, I got up early-ish and resumed my pyromania by setting a little fire in the pit. I just can’t get enough of fire pits, especially being confined to a 1-bedroom flat with no balcony – outdoor fun is limited to leaning out of a window and doing a big sniff for some fresh air. I digress… After waking up a bit, I brewed a big old pot of coffee and as the fire crackled away, the Air BnB dogs came to visit again, and Pippin (a name we will steal if we ever have a dog of our own), the younger of the pair, set up shop in our hut. Her stink was really rather unpleasant, but her presence was most welcome. As she laid herself out on the floor beside us, Lottie and I played some Bananagrams (really good game by the way) while we had breakfast, and another weird game… but I forget the name. We then showered and packed and headed off, leaving our temporary home for good, setting off to make the most of our journey back east.
Stonehenge was the first port of call, and it was a good place to visit. Best Henge, for sure. Upon arriving you’re charged to park (but you can have this cost taken off your entrance fee if you like). We opted to just pay for the parking, however. Here we were terrorised again, this time by an obscene number of wasps, most of which were just lounging about on adjoining cars. Fucking loads of them near the visitor centre too. We heard screams in the distance, and it made us feel better about ourselves. Anyway, passing through the shops and bits, we bypassed the ticket queue and began our walk. The free version, which is exactly the same as paying 20 quid, but you have to stand an extra 2 meters away, is more than adequate. You get a bus to drive you up to it if you pay, but then you miss out on a lovely walk – madness. As we stood within an arm’s reach of those recently mugged off by Heritage, a man and his friend walked past us and stood looking at the stones just within earshot – what he said had us amused for the entire walk back.
“Is this really it? … … … Is this really it?”
The other man said nothing, and the pair walked off almost immediately after, having been there for about 30 seconds. I don’t know what else they were expecting to see, but clearly, they weren’t impressed. We took a slight diversion on our return walk and after a brief stop at the gift shop and after cautiously making our way back to the car, we set off once more.
We made for Andover next, and my god. If you ever want to shoot a zombie movie, that’s the place to go. A brief Google has the population at around 48k, but I’m not sure that’s the case. I think all their fighting men must have been sent off to war, or the workers had been told to garrison in the town hall on our approach. We weren’t going there to steal their relics or anything… Although I did find another CEX, in which I picked up GTA: Chinatown Wars for the PSP. Perhaps that was their relic? Anyway, other than one man in the massive and mostly empty carpark, we saw absolutely no one until we got to the very centre. Too isolated I suppose, it’s a very dreams will die here kind of place, from what we could tell. And upon further research on our way out, Google has it down as England’s armpit. Very apt.
We fucked off within 10 minutes and made directly for Winchester. We’ve been there before, and we like it. Last time we went was New Year’s Day however, and many of the shops were close, not so this time, and we had a good browse, and after that, we went to Côte for dinner - there is a new crepe on their menu, which I sampled when I went with my dad, and I was determined to get Lottie to try it. She did, and now we’re arranging an entire weekend out just as an excuse to have it again. If you go, it’s not the cheapo strawberry one, which on paper sounds nicer, it’s the banana one, and it’s fucking good.
We had a little walk about after the food, and got on with the rest of our journey, stopping off at a Tim Hortons for a drink, and popping back to see the in-laws on the way home. Very tiring, but back in our own bed – lovely stuff. How did Pokémon sleep rate my rest?
Day 5:
A half lazy day with much coffee and some cake (actually a Belgian bun as it was all we had to eat in the house after our trip), followed by a walk around Highdown Gardens and a pub lunch (excellent steak sandwich and minimal wasp interference – the sort of birthday I like). Back to the in-laws, and after another drink or two we went home.
Hard to imagine having a bad night’s sleep after that, and as it turns out, I didn’t! A little too good actually. Although the tracker did record more sleep than I actually had, as I forgot to turn it off for a few hours. The repetitive nature of the game was getting a little tiresome by this point (no joke intended). However, it just about maintained my interest enough to continue through an entire week of it. I did unlock a new island… so that’s something.
Day 6:
Not even a half lazy day – full blown super lazy. The tracker recorded a lot of sleep, and although I forgot to turn the thing off again in the morning, I did oversleep by quite some way. Still, I had another whole week off, so some time wastage with sleeping in was acceptable. We cleaned the flat and watched some telly. Didn’t even leave the house – bliss.
You can also tell that I ran out of things to both do and say. Keep with me though, only one day to go. I also forgot to screenshot the whole sleep report, so here you can see the stamp card which aids in the addiction, one of the other islands you can play on, and a particularly epic mild honey curry.
Day 7:
Another lazy morning, followed by a brief walk to the in-laws for lunch and drinks in their garden. I don’t have any other photos to illustrate the day, apart from this one of their dog (Henry). So there you go - 3rd dog of the blog.
This also meant a later than usual sleep and I almost forgot to set up the app. It recorded a decent night’s sleep, so I suppose that’s good. I was awfully bored of the game by then though. It’s tiresome to bother with in the evenings and takes ages to sort out in the morning. There is nothing enjoyable about the mechanics and it’s just a time sink, at a time of the day when I least want to waste it… The art style is lovely, the animations are good too, and the overall design of the interface is decent, but those mechanics… I am uninstalling today and I’m happy to never return to it.
By the way, I didn’t uninstall it, and I think I am now addicted to it… God help me. It’s like Simpsons Tapped Out. I haven’t and will not spend any money on it though. My line in the sand is there. My addiction isn’t really that bad, and I have actually, despite my earlier complaint, found it quite a useful tool to wake me up in the morning. It has a built-in alarm (although I don’t use it), and the mild task of feeding Snorlax and squeezing my captives for their foraged goods is just enough to dissipate the fog of sleep. Having said that though, and despite there being more of a game than I initially gave it credit for, I’m not sure how much longer I want to play(use) it. I captured a Bulbasaur and a Squirtle, but the Charmander got away… that was annoying enough to make me want to give up - so I will.
There are complexities in the different abilities and bonuses of each Pokémon, there are different zones to play on, lots of tools and such… But I am going to uninstall it now, despite all that. It’s been a month, and I think that’s enough. If you like Pokémon and have an interest in monitoring your sleep (in probably the least scientific way possible), give it a go. If only to make use of the recording feature, through which you can assign snoring blame onto your partner. And although I haven’t experimented with it myself, the app links to Pokémon Go too - what that does is anybody’s guess, but perhaps worth a look?
So there we go, another game ticked off under the guise of a travel diary. Got ya, suckers. Ever been up in Salisbury Cathedral? Are we missing out? Should we go back? Or is it not worth the effort? And, most importantly, we weren’t poisoned while there, so that’s good isn’t it!
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